As of lately, I have been doing a number of couple sessions in my practice. This gave me pause to think that maybe I need to write a book. Now you must know that I am no author, so the thought of this is rather daunting. I thought that instead of writing a book, perhaps I would just start blogging this stuff.
For my first one, I would like to touch on fear. Fear is a powerful detractor in a marriage. It can make you do things that you never thought of. It can stop you from becoming the couple you were meant to be. It can destroy a person and a family. In fact, fear actually destroys love. Did you ever think about it that way? It does.
Fear destroys love in a number of ways. First of all, it creates an issue of mistrust between a couple. It is like water and ice seeping through sandstone. Eventually it finds a fissure in the rock and breaks it into little pieces. If you fear something in your marriage it is best to tackle it head on. One of my own personal obstacles in my marriage was that I feared we would not stay together "forever." Once I realized this, I was able to tackle this. By examining why I thought this, I was able to gain insight.
Fear also destroys confidence in yourself and your marriage. Fear causes you to act in a defensive manner. When you are playing defense you are looking for things to cause you to react. You begin to think that everything your spouse or partner does is against you. Most people do not mean to cause harm. Most people want the best for others. You are unable to see this once you go into a defensive posture. If you don't have confidence that your spouse is looking out for your best, who can you trust? You are supposed to marry and remain married to your best friend.
All to often we let fear stop us from doing things that are beneficial or even fun. We tell ourselves that we would be better off staying in our everyday normal pattern. Unfortunately, we tend to believe this lie, and in the end we end up missing out. Fear stops us dead in our tracks on a journey. Our lives were meant to mimic a roller coaster. There are ups and there are downs. Sometimes the downs, seem to come out of nowhere and drop us rather quickly. Herein lies the issue with fear. We don't want to experience the drop after a time or two.
Why would we want to express love towards another if we have been hurt? I've done this before you say. Have you? Is it the same? What did you learn from the last time you dropped? Did you learn anything at all or our you just going with the fear coaster? Fear, it is a powerful factor in our lives.
What do you fear? Do you want to control it, or do you want it to control you?
For my first one, I would like to touch on fear. Fear is a powerful detractor in a marriage. It can make you do things that you never thought of. It can stop you from becoming the couple you were meant to be. It can destroy a person and a family. In fact, fear actually destroys love. Did you ever think about it that way? It does.
Fear destroys love in a number of ways. First of all, it creates an issue of mistrust between a couple. It is like water and ice seeping through sandstone. Eventually it finds a fissure in the rock and breaks it into little pieces. If you fear something in your marriage it is best to tackle it head on. One of my own personal obstacles in my marriage was that I feared we would not stay together "forever." Once I realized this, I was able to tackle this. By examining why I thought this, I was able to gain insight.
Fear also destroys confidence in yourself and your marriage. Fear causes you to act in a defensive manner. When you are playing defense you are looking for things to cause you to react. You begin to think that everything your spouse or partner does is against you. Most people do not mean to cause harm. Most people want the best for others. You are unable to see this once you go into a defensive posture. If you don't have confidence that your spouse is looking out for your best, who can you trust? You are supposed to marry and remain married to your best friend.
All to often we let fear stop us from doing things that are beneficial or even fun. We tell ourselves that we would be better off staying in our everyday normal pattern. Unfortunately, we tend to believe this lie, and in the end we end up missing out. Fear stops us dead in our tracks on a journey. Our lives were meant to mimic a roller coaster. There are ups and there are downs. Sometimes the downs, seem to come out of nowhere and drop us rather quickly. Herein lies the issue with fear. We don't want to experience the drop after a time or two.
Why would we want to express love towards another if we have been hurt? I've done this before you say. Have you? Is it the same? What did you learn from the last time you dropped? Did you learn anything at all or our you just going with the fear coaster? Fear, it is a powerful factor in our lives.
What do you fear? Do you want to control it, or do you want it to control you?
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